Kenya'd Devyn's Carbon Boat. This thing can
fly! Photo: Keegan Grady
Buseater; otherwise known as the best freaking river
wave in the world; is probably the best motivator for kayakers; otherwise
known as the laziest breed of athletes in the world; to brave zero degree water,
howling winds and frozen gear that we foolishly left outside so that we can tow
onto this beast and launch ourselves skyward. My favourite thing about this
wave; what sets it apart from other waves like Nile Special; is the uncertainty
that comes with every ride. The thought that with each surf you could either
stomp the biggest trick of your life or catch a wierd boil and get pushed into
the toilet bowl and cop a mind numbingly cold beatdown is enough to keep even
the best paddlers from getting too cocky out here.
The toilet bowl
in all its brain-freezingly flushing glory. There's a paddler in there somewhere.
Now a few things have changed since the
last time I was last out here in 2008. The first big difference: all of a sudden
I'm the only plastic boat in the eddy. Now its always good seeing developments
in the sport, and having seen what these boys can do when given a 7 kilo boat
with no flex in the hull I have no doubt we're gonna see some sick stuff as they
get these things more and more dialled in. But in the mean time I'm probably
going to wish I had an extra two and a half grand lying around the place while
feeling like I showed up to the Formula 1 starting line in my 12 year old
hatchback.
Devyn Scott
making me jealous. Photo: Keegan Grady
The next thing to change since last time - filming
freestyle has gotten high-tech all of a sudden. Gone are the days when people
would just whack a handicam on a tripod and start surfing. Now it seems
completely common to have three people in the eddy while four people are on
shore with DSLR's filming, taking pictures and using funky slider thingies. Its
like hollywood just showed up at your park n play spot. Once again, very pumped
to see the results from this development.
Seriously, this was the best carbon : plastic ratio we had.
The last
thing that's different to 2008 is a little more regretable. Namely, in 2008 I
had some extremely good fortune of surfing Bussy for almost a month in the
middle of summer. Unfortunately, in 2012, when I show up to Eastern Canada at
the right time in the right season for some supposedly punctual high water, some
asshole up in the clouds has shut off the taps and Quebec is dryer than a
nun's... sense of humour. In fact, the river that houses Black Mass needs approximately five times as much water as is currently flowing down it. As this is obviously far less than ideal, we've been checking the levels in vain
for the past week or so, but alas, I was only offered 2 days of my lovely, and
chances are she's not coming back any time soon.
So that left us with but two options. Firstly, the
basement dwelling couch surfers Devyn and I needed to earn our keep at Justin's
place, and had to clean the place up nice (eh). Which was, somewhat accurately,
about as much fun as painting a deck and pressure hosing the front porch. It's a
good thing that option two was head into Ottawa for Jeremy's birthday and to
mourn the loss of Bussy.
Now it's about here that the details start getting
somewhat blurry. But thanks to the wonderful Canadian tradition of not eating
any food for some ungodly reason, combined with the brutal onslaught of the
Whistle Game (be afraid my Aussie friends, you better believe this is coming
home with me), it seems I considered it a good idea to try a backflip while
romping around the dance floor. Those who know the cause of that big scar on my
left ankle are probably already yelling obscenities at their computer screen,
but long story short I woke up in Ottawa Hospital a few hours later very
confused that I wasn't on my couch, and sporting a cheeky class III concussion
after being unconscious for an impressive two minutes. After a couple days of
sleep and some serious head spinning dizziness, I'm back in business and feelin
fine (I felt I should mention I'm ok for the two people out there who might have
been worried).
Well I guess with the water gone we should (as
should you by the way) start praying to the river gods and/or whatever deity you
choose so that we can go off in search of something kayak related to do, lest we
get roped into cleaning something again, and on my kayaking adventure that wasn't exactly goal number one.
Catchya next time you dulishus chunk of freezing water
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